The textbooks of the last semester lay stacked on the bottom shelf of a dark cherry bookcase across the room. It was a load off of Connor's shoulders, a relief to know there'd be a few weeks to catch his breath and perhaps spend some time touching up on relationships. He'd neglected a few in favor of his studies and the water polo season with the assumption they'd understand. First on the list was his sister, Alex. She'd been back and forth between San Francisco and Los Angeles due to potential job offers. It was hard to imagine a life without her so close, but the prospects were insurmountable when compared to her ties at home. As much as Connor didn't want to see her leave he was in prayer mode nightly over it. With everything hanging on the balance, he shut himself away from the world and took to sitting at his desk as they carried on their conversation over the phone.

"Did you go apartment hunting or is that something you're saving for after?"

"Rafa said he wants to wait until we know more about where everything will fall. Nothing's for sure yet. I'm hoping to hear back from one firm, and from the way the interview went, they don't have very many options for hire. Which is surprising if you ask me."

"Then what are you waiting for? You already know mom and dad will help if you ask. At least for a little while. You're a golden child, remember?"

"Yeah, okay. Sure. The thing is I don't want to have to ask them for that kind of thing. I'm 25, done with college and working my own job. Rafa's doing his thing and we're in a good spot. He has a transfer pushing through, anyway. We'll be fine."

"If you say so. Doesn't sound like you have much to worry about even if you do head out a little early before hearing back from anybody."

Connor leaned into the back of the computer chair to pull his knees up, feet hanging half over the lip of his seat. He felt somewhat sullen about the situation now that it was on the table. He and his siblings had never really been any further from each other than a quick drive into the city. San Francisco was technically considered a foreign land, as far as he was concerned. Still, Alex was doing great things and there was no fault in that at all. Alex could tell, though. Her brother was an open book to her, easily read even over the phone. He was feeling a little more than he was letting on. The problem was no matter what they talked about or ran away on a tangent with, there was a bit of information buzzing around she needed to get off her chest. The family had agreed to leave it alone until Connor was done with his studies, more relaxed and able to process personal matters.

"We can talk about it some more later when I have an idea of what's going on. Tell me what's going on with you! How were finals? What's going on for Christmas? Are you and Micah still doing that gay thing?"

"Ha, shut up. Yes. Jav moved out to take care of some personal matters and Micah's still here. I think I'm going to talk to him about moving into a smaller place, which hopefully we can find in this complex unless he wants to move elsewhere. We're doing really well, though. Happy and taking time to learn each other all over again on this side of shit. As for finals, they went okay. All's well. Just three more semesters and I'm done, finally."

"Good. I want to see you two in matching black suits walking down the aisle in an outdoor wedding. Everything white with a blue accent color. Ooh! Maybe at the country club. Grandmother could probably pull--"

"Anywaaaay."

"Right, anyway! What's for Christmas? Are you coming up to spend it at home? I think mom would really like to see you."

"I'm heading to Salt Lake City with Micah for the actual day, but yeah we'll be there for a day or two before our flight."

"Have you told her you won't be in town?"

"No? Why would I do that? It's not been something she ever concerned herself about before, so why now?"

"You're going to have to let go of grudges at some point or another, squirt. It's not good for the soul."

"Hardly anything is. And I think you of all people would understand why I have the kind of feelings I do about those two. You were there for it."

The conversation lulled, silence taking over as the two of them let the memories of childhood wash over. Alex never understood why it was Connor who received the brunt of their father's anger, something she knew she'd question for the remainder of her life. It was a hard topic to speak on and Connor knew it, so he continued, this time from his bed where he lay on his back.

"What's the big deal with the talk about mom anyway? I spoke with her just the other day."

"Well, you know how mom and dad have been having problems lately, right? The other night she called me and was totally upset about something. I couldn't understand what she was talking about, but once I was able to get there it was obvious."

"She got too drunk and dad was pissed off about it?"

"Not only that, she pretty much destroyed the new Mercedes. Dad was livid, Connor. He hardly keeps his cool to begin with, but they got the car literally last week. So now I guess she's decided to go to rehab. For the drinking problem."

"Yeah okay. Good luck with that one. She's always had the problem, though. Stopped only when she was pregnant with Tony. And me from the stories I've heard. What makes you think it matters this time?"

"Don't be so damn cynical. She's never looked into doing something like this for herself. Maybe this is her breaking point, finally realizing how much of a mess everything's been."

"That's great. I'm happy for her. How does this tie into Christmas?"

"She's being admitted after the new year. Just a guess but it probably has something to do with wanting to see you."

Connor pulled himself up from the bed and made his way out of the room and into the rest of the apartment. Without Javid, the place seemed a little more bare. Micah wasn't entirely moved in. He didn't consider it even half way moved in. He paid it no mind as he padded to the kitchen to begin rummaging through the fridge and pantry for dinner things.

"Like I can't go see her once she's past her... whatever it's called. Initial introduction to sober living. Detox. All of the above. But honestly, Alex? If it were up to me, I'd do fuck all with Christmas at home. The only reason I'm bothering is to see Tony."

"As long as you come. Do it for me. Like I said, this might be her big moment. She hasn't been the best mom, but it's not like it's too late to try and be decent for once."

"If you say so. Listen, though, I'm needing to get off here. Micah's going to be home soon and I promised I'd make him dinner tonight now that everything is slowing down. Are you around tomorrow?"

"For what? Want to meet up and grab some lunch or something?"

"Yeah. I planned on heading up to see Tony and take him to see Star Wars, so we can do lunch before if you're in."

"I'm in. Let me know when you're here and we'll figure it out. Text me later though, I have pictures to show you too."

The conversation came to a close with promises of texts and calls for the next day, and when he set the phone down on the counter he let out a sigh. If it wasn't one thing, it was most certainly another. There was little faith in the outcome of this new situation with his mother. After so many years and all the turmoil of growing up in the kind of household he did, it was hard to see the so-called light at the end of the tunnel. She was an enabler, as well as the enabled. No matter the facade of a sprawling home amongst the hills of Calabasas, the family was a complete mess and as far as Connor was concerned, it'd continue to be until the end of time.